i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize