guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
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