i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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