Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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