My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Randomize
