He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
