I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
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