I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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