you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
