You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize