I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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