I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize