so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
how drunk are you?
Several
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
