Do you still have your period?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
