Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
