haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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