**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
