I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
