I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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