My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
