yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
