Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
You smell like stripper and shame
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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