Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
