Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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