A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
this beer tastes like vomit already
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
