oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize
