Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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