Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
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