Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
