Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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