i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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