why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
