Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
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