Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
