Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
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