laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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