Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
