Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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