last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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