The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize