i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
