I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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