i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize