Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
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