Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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