How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
