when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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