No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
