Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
