so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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