I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
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