margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
You have to summon your inner elephant
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
