I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
that's an acceptable place to lick
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Randomize
