She is in my trunk
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
