escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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