My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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