she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
This house was built for laser tag.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
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