Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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