I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
