i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
