so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I fill condoms, not promises.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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