Christians are straight up FREAKS
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I'm way too hungover for life right now
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
