Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
