lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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