is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
